THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS EVE

It's official.  All the presents are unwrapped and Santa is back at the North Pole. Christmas 2011 is about to come to an abrupt end at midnight.  Next Christmas is never farther away than at this precise moment.  I've got 365 days to pay off the bills for this year's extravaganza and save up for the next installment of the great event in 2012.  

Of course that will depend on the Mayans and the accuracy of their doomsday calendar. If they are right I will have saved up to celebrate Christmas 2012 and the whole world thing will be over before the next Christmas has a chance to strike.

Has anyone warned Santa?

BONDS...BARRY BONDS

I grew up loving baseball and hoping someday to hit more home runs than anyone ever had. We played home run derby every day in the summer and I'm sure I achieved my goal unofficially. Babe Ruth was our hero and seemed almost untouchable in the number of home runs he hit in his career.  That didn't mean players didn't try.  I have lived through four successful attempts to break the all-time home run records set by Babe Ruth of 60 in a single season in 1927 and 714 lifetime round trippers. 

The first was in 1961when Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle vied to break the Babe's 60 home runs in a single season record. Roger Maris finally did it on the last day of the regular season ending up with 61 home runs and asterisk by his name in the record book (since removed) because his 61 homers were accomplished in  162 games and Ruth set his record in 156 games. 

The second attempt at dethroning Ruth was when Hank Aaron strove to move ahead of Babe Ruth's 20 seasons lifetime total of 714 home runs.  He accomplished this on April 8, 1974 on his way to slamming 755 four baggers in 23 big league seasons.

The third was the race between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa in 1998 as they attempted to surpass Ruth's 60 and Roger Maris's 61single-season home run record.  Both of them did with McGwire hitting 70 that year and Sosa hitting 65.

Then along came Barry Bonds. In 2001 he hit 73 home runs in a single-season. Astounding! I was caught up in the excitement, the drama, all the intentional walks he had to go through to hit those 73 home runs.

Then came the accusations of performance-enhancing drugs used by McGwire, Sosa, and Bonds along with many other major league baseball players.  What they did was kill the enjoyment I had for the game.  How can anyone beat their records without stooping to the same tactics they used?  Their records are tainted as is the entire sport of baseball.  They deserved to have the book thrown at them.

Well it's been eight years since the federal government began its efforts to pin charges of perjury on Barry Bonds for his denial under oath of using steroids. Now we have the verdict and the punishment for his alleged crimes:
     1. Thirty days of house arrest in his luxury home. (Yes that's 30 whole days)  
      2. Two hundred and fifty (250) hours of community service. (That's an additional 10 1/2 days) 
      3. A whopping $4,000 dollar fine. ( That is   0.00002083333 percent of the 192 million he made while playing baseball)

If Roger Clemens had pitched to Barry Bonds and he had hit a towering blast where the ball cleared the stadium fence and came down on top of the head of a pit bull handled by Michael Vick knocking it senseless, then maybe the punishment would have been commensurate with the crime .

COLD ENOUGH

  I finally got it cold enough in my house. The thermostat is constant battlefield between my wife and I.  She is always too cold and I am always too warm.  She pushes the temperature up. I come behind her and lower the setting. Summer and Winter the war continues unabated. I don't think this is anything different than what happens in most homes.  Mars wants to be cold; Venus wants to bewarm.

  Today it is a little different.  Due to a recent cold snap the pipes that remove excess water caused by the functioning of our new furnace froze solid.  Don't ask me how furnaces can produce water or how pipes that are routed through the attic can become cold enough to freeze but they do and did.  As a result the temperature in the house is now a cozy 64 degrees. 

   Luckily my spouse has been out shopping most of the morning and has missed the excellent temperatures I have been basking in.  I will admit that the tips of my nose and fingers are a bit cold even with the scarf and gloves I am wearing.

                                             (I may have made up the part about the scarf and gloves.)

THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR--PART 2

I fear I came across as a total Ebenezer Scrooge in my last post so I thought I would set the record straight and list some of the things I enjoy about the holiday season:

1. The excitement of children as they wait for the big day to arrive be it Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas.

2. Seeing the light in the eyes of my grandchildren as they show us the costumes they will be waring on Halloween.

3. Hearing that excitement when costume clad youngsters sing out at our front door, "Trick or Treat. Smell my feet.  Give me something good to eat."

4. Seeing the enjoyment of family and friends as they devour an exceptional meal that has been prepared with love and care by my wife. (Especially the home made rolls and pies)


5. Left over turkey, dressing, and cranberry sauce squished between two halves of a roll.


6. The feeling of satisfaction I have when the last section of Christmas tree lights finally flickers on after hours of replacing burned out bulbs.


7. Judiciously chosen popular and religious Christmas music.

8. Watching my grandchildren see the tree for the first time each year.

9. Seeing their glowing faces as they circle the decorated Christmas tree trying to find where the ornament with their name on it has been placed this year.

10. The innocence on the faces of the toddlers as they bring into the family room an ornament they have taken from the tree, explaining they, "Only wanted to touch it."

11.Quiet moments when I'm alone in the front room when the lights are out, except for those on the tree, and the magical feeling of peace it brings just to look at the sparkling decorations.

12. Watching the Christmas Story Pageant my grandchildren put on for us as the scriptures are read and they act out the parts of Joseph and Mary, Shepherds, Angels and Wise Men.
 
13. The joy on the faces of children and adults as they open Christmas gifts.

14. Contemplating the true meaning of Christmas and realizing that it is good for the world to remember the Savior's birth even if it is celebrated at the wrong time of year.  

15. The hope the season brings:  

• that winter will not last forever.
• that there is always a chance mankind will live up to the spirit of the season.
• that there is a possibility for peace on earth.

SEASONS GREETINGS

THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

It's here again. The Holiday Season.  It started with large bags of candy which I was required to purchase and give away to strange little people dressed in weird costumes who banged on my front door demanding it.  
 It continued with pie making, potato mashing, green bean casserole preparing, hot roll baking and turkey roasting that took three days and was consumed in 20 minutes.


It forges ahead toward Christmas day with many stops along the way:

 
   1. Three days of trying to get the lights on the artificial Christmas tree (we gave up on real trees long ago) to actually turn on. 

   2. Several days of festooning the house using all of the decorations I can find, and wondering where I hid the ones after last year that I can't find. 
 
   3. Purchasing gifts for ALL of my children and grandchildren after they have drawn lots so they only have to buy one present for one other family member.

   4. Various and sundry social events aimed directly at my waist line. 

   5. Listening to the same Christmas songs sung over and over by a hundred different artists.

   6. Celebrating three other birthdays of family and friends during the month of December. 

   7. Trying to avoid the Christmas TV programs that have been broadcast every year since the invention of the television.

   8. Arranging for Santa to come and visit the family Christmas party.  The travel cost is not cheap from the North Pole to West Valley City, Utah.

   9. Finding a gift from my wife.  Let's face it I'm a man and this kind of thing drives me crazy.

  10. Realizing on the afternoon of December 25th that it is never farther away than at that moment.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

CUPON CODE FOR SMASHWORDS DIGITAL NOVELS

 I am providing a one half off coupon for anyone wishing to purchase my digital novels.  Just type in the following codes and receive the discount.

YQ82D  for Christmas Tree Conspiracy

VE45B  for Circles

These codes are good only until Dec. 31, 2011.  Just type in the codes in the appropriate place and receive the discount.

These books can be downloaded from smashwords.com by clicking on the following link:


  http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/91524

If you are a Sony Reader you can get to Smashwords here:
 http://ebookstore.sony.com/publishers/

They is also available at Barnes and Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Ross-Martin-Madsen?keyword=Ross+Martin+Madsen&store=book

 It is also available at itunes if you have the capacity to download books from itunes.  If you do click on books and search for The Christmas Tree Conspiracy.

DEMOSTHENES ENGLISH?

   When I was teaching High School I would start each year with a list of "words" I would hear the students using as they spoke. Each year the list grew longer and longer until I had a whole side chalkboard filled with these non standard English "words." I often wondered how people who were trying yo learn the English language ever could when they studied how it was supposed to be spoken and then were confronted with the way the language comes out of our mouths. 

   I provide a few examples:

Jeetjur---as in, "Did you eat your lunch."

Farzino---as in "As far as I know." 

Cuz---as in, "Because."

Mere---as in, "Come here."

Iduhno--as in, "I don't know."

Mahn--as in, "Come on."

Gitcher--as in, "Get your."

Gunuh or Gonah--as in, "Going to."

Gottah--as in "Got to."

Wahderwe--as in "What are we."

The list could be almost infinite. 

I call it Demosthenes English because we all sound like we have pebbles in our mouths.

OOPS

I wondered why no one was commenting on the blog content so I checked and found I had somehow chosen the setting that eliminated all comments.  That has been changed so have at my posts whenever you want.

ALIENS

                         

   After years of experience I have come to the conclusion that we have allowed an alien life form to develop right before our eyes without any attempt to protect the human race from the dire consequences of our own shortsightedness.  The entities have grown in the dark recesses of our homes and office spaces.  They have reproduced in our places of  business, in our entertainment establishments and in our eateries.  In fact they are everywhere and we are becoming increasingly dependent upon them and I am more and more certain they are simply waiting for the opportune moment to rise up and take over the world.    I came face to face with two of these insensitive beasts just the other day as I was preparing to remove all of the electronic paraphernalia from the top of my desk and free the home entertainment center in our family room from it's connections to speakers and all power sources. This was in preparation for moving all of the electronics and furniture so we could lay new carpet in my office and the family room. I found myself confronted with a tangled, undulating mass of cords, cables and wires.  The only conclusion I could reach logically was that It/They were ALIVE!
      I untangled and they re-tangled. I freed one cable and it immediately dove back into the pack. They lassoed my toes, strangled my fingers and grabbed at desk and chair legs to keep me from separating them.  I persevered, however, showing them who was boss, and imposing my superior will and intellect upon them.   
   I finally succeeded and put the unruly wires onto the nearest empty closet shelf for storage until it was time to tackle reestablishing the various electronic connections after the carpet was installed.  I was proud of myself for the hard fought victory over technology I had accomplished. Indeed I was almost patting myself on the back as I walked away from the closet and then I thought I heard a rustling noise and a snicker of quiet laughter. 
                              Notice the beady eyes staring at you

CHANGING SEASONS

   Each year as the months progress I hear the same complaints coming from the people around me.  In the Winter it is the frigid weather and how many difficulties and inconveniences snow removal causes.  In the Spring the wind, the rain and the mud are criticized.  In summer it is the heat, lawn mowing and the constant battle with weeds.  In Autumn it is the falling leaves and the continual yard work they bring. Each season has its own unique set of problems but also its own set of joys:
     Winter brings skiing, ice skating and basketball.  
     Spring brings kite flying, gardening, and soccer.
     Summer brings swimming, vacations and baseball.  
     Autumn brings the harvest, school and football.  

   I have decided however, that there are really only two seasons during a year not four as most people commonly think:

   1. Spummer Road Construction season
   2. Fallwin Road Construction season

   Or maybe that means there really only one season: Spummerfallwin Road Construction season.  

   The real measure of the season is how fast you can get from here to there.  As life progresses in Utah it seems the the road works departments of all municipalities are in a conspiratorial plot to make getting anywhere as hard as possible on a year round basis.  It seems like one project stops and another one starts on the same part of a road that was just finished.  It is a constant pain and test of patience.  However, I won't let them get to me. As I dive up to the next man made obstacle course I will simply say to myself, "My tax dollars at work."

UPDATE: THE CHRISTMAS TREE CONSPIRACY

I resubmitted a novel to smashbooks.com. with a new cover:
  http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/91524

If you are a Sony Reader you can get to Smashwords here:
 http://ebookstore.sony.com/publishers/

It is also available at Barnes and Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Ross-Martin-Madsen?keyword=Ross+Martin+Madsen&store=book

 It is also available at itunes if you have the capacity to download books from itunes.  If you do click on books and search for the Christmas Tree Conspiracy.

NBA:Owners vs. Players

   Wa, wa, wa! I hate to hear the wailing of spoiled children. Especially gifted and wealthy ones.

   Owners: You can't play basketball unless we say you can, and we will only pay you what we want to pay.
   Players: Then we won't play unless you pay us what we want to be paid.
   Owners: Good because we own all the equipment and the courts so we won't let you in to play.
   Players: Fine we will go play on European courts.
   Owners: Go ahead, but don't come back.
   Players: You need us to make your money, so pay us more.
   Owners: No we don't. We're already rich and this will hurt you more than it does us.
   Players: That's the point.  You're already rich and we want to be, so give us more money.
   Owners: Why? You'll just fritter it away.
   Players:  Pay us more or we will hold our breath.
   Owners: Don't hold your breath.  It ain't gonna happen.
   Players: What about the fans?
   Owners: The who?  
   Players: The fans!
   Owners: What's a fan?
   Players: You know the people who come to the games and pay to see "US" play.
   Owners: What have they got to do with any of this?  They will pay whatever we say they will.
   Fans: Grow up.  It's a kids game. You are all overpaid.  Maybe we'll just take our money and go to a hockey fight.

SCAMS?

   Beware! There are scams among us, hiding in the guise of legal businesses that have been around for so long we accept them as legitimate.  Three of them come quickly to mind:
  1. Banks
  2. Insurance Companies
  3. Travelers Checks
   I'm not sure about State and National Governments but they are under my scrutiny and I expect to come to a conclusion in the near future.  The reason I suspect government as a potential scam artist is because I finally figured out what John F. Kennedy really meant when he said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."  When the code is translated it takes the following form. "Don't ask me what I am going to do for you, what are you going to do for me?"  That seems to justify a lot of what goes on in this nation. 
   Banks say to us, "Give us your hard earned money and we will protect it and pay you a small amount of interest, but don't go below the minimum balance (that means we want some of your money permanently).  We will loan out the money you have saved with us to a third party and charge a large amount of interest thereby making the bank a profit by using your money as though it were our own. Oh and you want access to the money you have given to us to hold?  Not a problem.  All you'll have to do is pay a checking account fee, an ATM fee, a debit card fee or any other fee we can come up with and foist off onto our patrons.
   Insurance companies say,"Pay us a monthly fee and we will 'insure' your home, automobiles, your health or whatever.  Pay us this fee year after year and we will give you a 'discount' for not making any claims.  Oh and by the way if you do make a claim we will take away your discount and charge you more per month for the privilege of having us insure your property or health. After all we have to recoup the money we had to pay out on your claim."  What this means is, "Give us your money year after year and don't make us give any of it back.  If you do make a claim we will punish you."
   Travelers check companies say,"Give us your real money and we will give you fake money to carry around.  While you are carrying around the fake money we will invest the real money and keep the profits.  Oh and by the way you will have to pay us a fee to let us give you the fake money in the first place."
 
   The reason I'm not so sure about the government is that they are the ones who let the banks, insurance companies and travelers check companies get away with the scam hindered only with a few taxes here and there.

ONE MAN'S TREASURE

   That last post got a bit heavy but it was indeed how I feel about the subject.  On a lighter note I am in the middle of cleaning out my office, the utility storage room, and the grand children's playroom in preparation for painting and carpeting the playroom and my office. Over the years we have acquired a great deal of "material" which we have carefully stored in the nooks and crannies of these three rooms, most of it to be used at an undetermined 'sometime' in the future.  What is interesting is that as we looked at the material we discovered items which hadn't seen the light of day in three decades. Still deciding to discard it or send it to the local charity store became a gut wrenching process where it became perfectly clear that my treasures were junk and my wife's stored items were priceless heirlooms. 
   "But we can't throw those away I may need them," she says.
   "You haven't used them but three times in the passed thirty years and those three times were twenty-eight years ago," I say.
   "But some of them belonged to your mother and you never know when they will be needed."
   "I do too," I say. "They will never be needed."
   "If we throw them out I know I'll need them the day after we do," she insists.
   "So we are not getting rid of those glass snack trays with matching cups?" I ask.
   "Certainly not (smile from my wife) but we surely need to toss the air mattress inflation pump."
   "But I may need it to inflate and air mattress when we go camping," I explain.
   "We never go camping and we don't own an air mattress," she points out.
   "What has that got to do with it?  I may need it sometime and then I won't have it." I whine.
   Another treasure finds its way into the charity donation sack.

TO CULT OR NOT TO CULT

   The word "cult" is being thrown around frequently in the press and by certain "quasi" religious leaders during the current political upheaval occurring in the Republican Party as the next presidential election revs up. I use the term "quasi" religious leaders because these ministers apparently don't believe in practicing their avowed religion's original tenants.  They aren't sincere enough to live by the precepts of the founder of the Christian religion. I think it was Jesus who said:

 Mathew 5: 22 & 43-44 (KJV)

22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry  with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca (term of derision), shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. 

 ***

43 ¶Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

   You belong to a "cult" is a semi acceptable way of saying to someone in this increasingly politically correct world of ours that what you believe is rubbish because it doesn't agree with what I believe.  Law suits abound over matters including: sexual bias, racism, antisemitism and ethnic slurs. But somehow religion, even though the free exercise of ones religious beliefs is a guarantee of the Constitution (1st Amendment I believe), seems to be a popular target of the media and oddly of one religious group against another.

I looked up the definitions for the word "cult" and found the following entries: 

 

1. A particular system of religious worship, especially with reference to its rites and ceremonies. (Any Church fits this definition)

2. An instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, especially as manifested by a body of admirers. (For Christians that person is Jesus Christ)

3. The object of such devotion. (Christ again)

4. A group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc. (Again, any religious sect)

5. Sociology--a group having a sacred ideology and a set of rites centering around their sacred symbols. (Any religious group qualifies)

6. A religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader. (This is the definition one religious group throws toward another which does not believe the same things they do. What most Christian sects fail to acknowledge is that from the point of view of any other sect their view of Christianity is false, unorthodox, or extremist.  All current Christian religions, including Catholicism, were once considered cults by the majority religion of the time they were founded.)
  
  It seems a bit hypocritical for one group of Christians to point their fingers at another and cry "cult!" As you can see any religious group or community can be called a cult. For me what should be practiced is a little less religion and a bit more Christianity.

TUACHAN

   What the heck is a Tuachan?  I thought it was a South American bird with a large beak used to eat breakfast cereal.  This week I found out it is an outdoor theater located among the red rock hills north west of St. George, Utah.  They put on plays and concerts there.  This summer it was The Little Mermaid and Grease.  
   We had an entire summer to purchase tickets.  So what did we do?  You guessed it.  We waited too long and by the time we made the decision to drive down from Salt Lake and meet our daughter and her children who were driving from California, all of the performances for The Little Mermaid were sold out.  We got tickets for Grease to make the trip at least somewhat productive, but we still wanted to see The Little Mermaid. So we decided to go to the theater and see if there would be any tickets turned in or if someone wanted to sell the tickets they had purchased.  We needed six tickets to accommodate all of us.
   At the box office I put my name on a waiting list and waited.  For two and a half hours I waited.  It rained and I waited.  It stopped raining and I waited.  I ate pizza and waited.  A women wanted to sell me two tickets and I thought, What if I can't get four more?  So I said, "No thank you, and I waited.  A man tried to sell me two tickets and I declined because I needed six, and I waited.  When the box office finally told the lucky people on the  list that their wait was over.  Because our names were about midway down the list and several above us had left I thought we might get in to see the performance.  No such luck.  All they had when they got to my name were two tickets and I needed six.  We didn't get to see The Little Mermaid.

   For those of you who are math challenged:          2 + 2 + 2 = 6

But then hindsight is much clearer than foresight.

UP AND DOWN?

 

   Thinking like a physicist I once tried to convince a skeptical and unbelieving manager at my part time job that there is no such thing as up and down.  By way of a greeting he had asked me, "What's up?" I replied, "There's no such thing as up or down."  This of course demanded an explanation and I offered it to him carefully. I didn't want to overload his thought processes.  He listened intently, gave me a strange look and told me slowly the management line he had learned in his How to Handle Employees Handbook.  "Get back to work."I did but it didn't change the up or down argument.

  Think about it.  If two people are on opposite sides of the world, the direction one calls up is down to the other person and visa-verse the  direction one calls down is up to the other.  How can the same direction be both up and down.  To make matters more confusing.  It they are both facing the same direction (that might require one of them standing on his head), that direction may be east for one but it would be west for the other.  If behind them is west for one it would be east for the other.  To their right would be south for one and north for the other and to their left is north for one and south for the other.  No wonder no one knows which way to turn. 

          I solved the problem for him by explaining the truth about directions.  What we call up is really away from the center of a gravity well and down is toward the center of a gravity well. This is true no matter where you are on the surface of the earth.  As to the other directions i.e. North, South, East and West, forward, backward, to the right or to the left will just have to do until we can accept forward or backward parallel to the center of a gravity well and right or left parallel to the center of a gravity well.

          So the next time someone asks you, “What’s up?”  Tell them kindly, “There is no such thing,”  but don't try to explain it to them.

 

REALITY

   I've been reading a book called The Dancing Wu Li Masters.  It was published in 1979 which makes it somewhat out of date and I understand the subject matter has only become more complicated since then. It's all about physics and how physicists are trying to make sense of the world around us and explain what reality truly is by using Mathematics, the Theory of Relativity, Quantum Mechanics and Particle Physics.  What the book says so far is that if we accept what physicists are telling us, then the world, including each one of us, on the sub-atomic level, is in constant chaos changing from matter to energy and back again. We may look real but we are actually made up of waves or particles or both, glued together by electromagnetism, except particles don't really exist, and waves are only probabilities that may or may not come into existence, which means we don't really exist, and if we do exist it is only because someone accidentally observed us existing. Remember this the next time you see something no one else does.  You may have just created whatever it was you saw because without you to observe the event then it probably wouldn't have happened in that exact manner and may have popped into existence in a parallel dimension skipping us all together depending on if someone observed it over there and how close to the speed of light it was traveling for velocity = mass = energy, maybe, because some particles are mass-less, except mass is what makes up the universe.
   The whole subject is very deep, esoteric, hurts my brain when I think about it and makes me glad I'm not a physicist.  Trying to cope with cleaning the bathroom and taking out the garbage is difficult enough for me to understand at this stage of my life. The book also gives me a clear view of how totally off their rockers most scientists are.  After reading this book I now believe Rod Serling (Twilight Zone) was  a Dancing Wu Li Master physicist.

IGNORANCE

  What would you do if you were the hero of an action thriller being chased up a cliff by a gigantic flying monster and suddenly you came to a true cul-de-sac where you couldn't escape.  What if the monster closed in; you had already thrown your backpack at the beast; had dropped your sword during the climb, and were weaponless.  What if, while hovering beside the cliff it moved its drooling snout toward you to get a better look at lunch.  What if its 15 foot bloodshot eyeball was right in front of you and you knew there was no way to escape your fate as the monster's next meal. What would you do?  

   I know exactly what I would do.  While holding onto the cliff with one hand I’d poke the monster in the eye with the other.  As it blinked, I’d jump onto its snout, climb up its nose ridges, and grab hold of its eyebrow. Leaning over, I’d kick it in the other eye, then scramble up and sit behind one of its horns until the monster flew over a lake.  I’d jump off and swim to safety.  (Oh wait, that's in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows isn't it?) The monster couldn’t see right, so what I'd really do is wait on its head until it was about to crash into a snow covered mountain because it couldn't see.  Then I'd jump to the ground wait for the monster to bash itself to death against the mountain.  I'd skin it with my Swiss Army knife and using its rib bones I make a saucer to slide down the snow to safety. (Is that in Indiana Jones   After all this is an action thriller, and I am the hero.

   Ignorance is a monster that wants to swallow all of us.  We have to keep poking it in the eye each time it rears its ugly head. The cliff we are climbing is life and we only come to a dead end if we stop trying to learn.  As Yogi Berra said, “It ain’t over till it’s over.” Again the pin stripped Yankee sage said, “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

   To paraphrase another great thinker, "To read or not to read, to try or not to try, to dream or not to dream, that is the question."  Take the fork in the road and poke ignorance in its repulsive blood shot eye.

TEN FEET TALL AND BULLETPROOF

   I was reading in the newspaper about a hiker in Utah who was inspired by the movie 127 Hours to hike the same terrain as the fellow who had to hack off his own arm when it was pinned beneath a boulder in order to save his life.  The hiker in the newspaper story was a 64 year old man who came all the way from North Carolina to live the dream.  Well, he got his wish.  Hiking alone he fell ten feet, broke his ankle, dislocated his shoulder and without cell phone service he was forced to crawl for four days across the desert before being found by Canyonlands National Park Rangers.  Once again he was alone and had not told anyone where he was going.

   I call this the "Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof Syndrome."  It is a hold over from our youth when we thought we were indestructible and could conquer the world because it had to conform to our wills and wishes.  The rules of common sense were for other lesser mortals to follow.  We ignored them because they simply did not apply to us for in truth we knew a secret--we were immortal and nothing could harm us.  

   The problem with this kind of thinking is that it actually has provided breakthroughs in many fields of human endeavor:

• See that strange animal over there.  I going to go over and yank on that "udderly" disgusting think hanging down from between its hind legs and drink whatever comes out.
• I'm going to strap two straight boards on my feet, point them down this snow covered hill, push off and see what happens.
• I'm going to jump off this building and see if this bed sheet will lower me safely to the ground. 
• Let me fly this kite during a thunderstorm to see if lightning is really a form of electricity.
• The fossil fuel internal combustion engine is just what we need to make this country great.  Don't worry about the emissions. They are harmless.
• We're going to bombard this little piece of uranium with electrons and hope the resultant chain reaction does not destroy the entire world.

   Each generation thinks the previous generation is old fashioned, conservative and out of touch with reality.  I'm not sure about the out of touch with reality part because I think we are all on that journey but I know the old fashioned and conservative part usually comes because we finally have realized that we are not ten feet tall and bulletproof just eight feet tall and bullet resistant.