TOO HEAVY!

I was seated in my back yard this evening enjoying the company of friends and having a piece of pie after a great barbecued hamburger when I looked up and saw an airplane fly over our neighborhood supposedly on its way to a landing at the airport

which is located several miles north of our home. It suddenly became clear to me that airplanes are too heavy to fly. 
Have you ever stood near one? The tires are almost as tall as a person. It is obvious they are too heavy to fly!

In much the same way oil tankers, cruise ships and boats in general are too heavy to float. Throw a rock in the water and it sinks. Tankers, ships and boats are way heavier than a rock. 

I think that all airplanes, tankers, ships and boats are holographic images projected into the sky and onto the water. Why else would they have those big, tall towers at airports and

lighthouses on the sea shore? They project the holograms onto the runway, into the sky and across the water. 

I have a theory that the supposed fresh air coming out of the little nozzle in the overhead console above each seat on an airplane really contains a knockout gas which puts everybody to sleep on the plane.

The crew then carries each passenger off the fake plane and onto buses that transport the passengers to their desired destination, put them back on a fake airplane and revive them just as the plane is supposedly landing and taxing to the terminal. I know this sounds crazy but how else do you explain airplanes that are too heavy to fly and tankers, ships and boats that are too heavy to float?