THANKS FOR: NO THANKS TO:
1. My wife and 1. The persons who
family. who discovered sugar
and chocolate.
2. The Gospel of 2. Don Johnson who
Christ and His made the scruffy
Atonement unshaven look
fashionable.
3. The personal 3. Philo T. Farnsworth
computer and who invented the TV
the Internet which where I spend entirely
have given me too much of my time
something to do watching frivolous
while I'm retired. programs.
4. Freedom of thought 4. Dennis Rodman
and action. who popularized
tattoos for athletes,
which then turned into
a widespread practice
among younger people.
5. The man who stood 5. Having to clean
under a waterfall soap and mineral
and thereby created deposits from the
the first shower. shower stall.
6. The inventor of the 6. My dentist who
electric toothbrush. insists I floss after
brushing.
7. The inventor of the 7. Having to shave
electric razor. every day. (I know,
Don Johnson)
8. The Automobile 8. Big oil companies
which gives me for suppressing the
freedom of movement development of
alternative types of
fuel for cars.
(Hydrogen would be
best)
9. Christmas as a 9. The first guy who
celebration of the birth put Christmas lights
of Christ and a reminder up on the outside of
of what He means to us. their house.
10. The Christmas spirit, 10. The person who was
which I need too shy to publish
more of. "A Visit From
St. Nicholas"
(a.k.a. "The Night
Before Christmas")
under his own name
but did it
anonymously, thus
creating Santa Claus
and the need to give
gifts at Christmas
which has gotten
way out of control.
11. Ibuprofen 11. Arthritis
12. Thomas Edison 12. R-rated Movies
for inventing and the Hollywood
everything. movie moguls who
can't figure out that
PG and PG-13
movies make more
money.
13. Thanksgiving 13. Food Network Chefs
who all cook turkey
differently and
confuse everybody
with dozens of
suggestions.
14. Sandwiches made 14. Black Friday sales
from left-over which have now
Thanksgiving turkey, worked their way
stuffing, and to Thanksgiving Day
cranberry sauce and will ultimately
start the day after
Halloween. Oh wait,
they already start
after Halloween.
They just don't call
them Black Friday
sales
15. Thanksgiving dinner 15. All the work that
with all my children, goes into its
their spouses, and my preparation.
grandchildren gathered
at our house to start the
Holiday Season.
