THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

It's here again. The Holiday Season.  It started with large bags of candy which I was required to purchase and give away to strange little people dressed in weird costumes who banged on my front door demanding it.  
 It continued with pie making, potato mashing, green bean casserole preparing, hot roll baking and turkey roasting that took three days and was consumed in 20 minutes.


It forges ahead toward Christmas day with many stops along the way:

 
   1. Three days of trying to get the lights on the artificial Christmas tree (we gave up on real trees long ago) to actually turn on. 

   2. Several days of festooning the house using all of the decorations I can find, and wondering where I hid the ones after last year that I can't find. 
 
   3. Purchasing gifts for ALL of my children and grandchildren after they have drawn lots so they only have to buy one present for one other family member.

   4. Various and sundry social events aimed directly at my waist line. 

   5. Listening to the same Christmas songs sung over and over by a hundred different artists.

   6. Celebrating three other birthdays of family and friends during the month of December. 

   7. Trying to avoid the Christmas TV programs that have been broadcast every year since the invention of the television.

   8. Arranging for Santa to come and visit the family Christmas party.  The travel cost is not cheap from the North Pole to West Valley City, Utah.

   9. Finding a gift from my wife.  Let's face it I'm a man and this kind of thing drives me crazy.

  10. Realizing on the afternoon of December 25th that it is never farther away than at that moment.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

CUPON CODE FOR SMASHWORDS DIGITAL NOVELS

 I am providing a one half off coupon for anyone wishing to purchase my digital novels.  Just type in the following codes and receive the discount.

YQ82D  for Christmas Tree Conspiracy

VE45B  for Circles

These codes are good only until Dec. 31, 2011.  Just type in the codes in the appropriate place and receive the discount.

These books can be downloaded from smashwords.com by clicking on the following link:


  http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/91524

If you are a Sony Reader you can get to Smashwords here:
 http://ebookstore.sony.com/publishers/

They is also available at Barnes and Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Ross-Martin-Madsen?keyword=Ross+Martin+Madsen&store=book

 It is also available at itunes if you have the capacity to download books from itunes.  If you do click on books and search for The Christmas Tree Conspiracy.

DEMOSTHENES ENGLISH?

   When I was teaching High School I would start each year with a list of "words" I would hear the students using as they spoke. Each year the list grew longer and longer until I had a whole side chalkboard filled with these non standard English "words." I often wondered how people who were trying yo learn the English language ever could when they studied how it was supposed to be spoken and then were confronted with the way the language comes out of our mouths. 

   I provide a few examples:

Jeetjur---as in, "Did you eat your lunch."

Farzino---as in "As far as I know." 

Cuz---as in, "Because."

Mere---as in, "Come here."

Iduhno--as in, "I don't know."

Mahn--as in, "Come on."

Gitcher--as in, "Get your."

Gunuh or Gonah--as in, "Going to."

Gottah--as in "Got to."

Wahderwe--as in "What are we."

The list could be almost infinite. 

I call it Demosthenes English because we all sound like we have pebbles in our mouths.

OOPS

I wondered why no one was commenting on the blog content so I checked and found I had somehow chosen the setting that eliminated all comments.  That has been changed so have at my posts whenever you want.

ALIENS

                         

   After years of experience I have come to the conclusion that we have allowed an alien life form to develop right before our eyes without any attempt to protect the human race from the dire consequences of our own shortsightedness.  The entities have grown in the dark recesses of our homes and office spaces.  They have reproduced in our places of  business, in our entertainment establishments and in our eateries.  In fact they are everywhere and we are becoming increasingly dependent upon them and I am more and more certain they are simply waiting for the opportune moment to rise up and take over the world.    I came face to face with two of these insensitive beasts just the other day as I was preparing to remove all of the electronic paraphernalia from the top of my desk and free the home entertainment center in our family room from it's connections to speakers and all power sources. This was in preparation for moving all of the electronics and furniture so we could lay new carpet in my office and the family room. I found myself confronted with a tangled, undulating mass of cords, cables and wires.  The only conclusion I could reach logically was that It/They were ALIVE!
      I untangled and they re-tangled. I freed one cable and it immediately dove back into the pack. They lassoed my toes, strangled my fingers and grabbed at desk and chair legs to keep me from separating them.  I persevered, however, showing them who was boss, and imposing my superior will and intellect upon them.   
   I finally succeeded and put the unruly wires onto the nearest empty closet shelf for storage until it was time to tackle reestablishing the various electronic connections after the carpet was installed.  I was proud of myself for the hard fought victory over technology I had accomplished. Indeed I was almost patting myself on the back as I walked away from the closet and then I thought I heard a rustling noise and a snicker of quiet laughter. 
                              Notice the beady eyes staring at you