UPDATE:NEW EBOOK PUBLISHED ON SMASHWORDS.COM

I just submitted a new novel to smashbooks.com.   http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/91524

If you are a Sony Reader you can get to Smashwords here:
 http://ebookstore.sony.com/publishers/

It is also available at Barnes and Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Ross-Martin-Madsen?keyword=Ross+Martin+Madsen&store=book

FANTASY $$$

   Our lives and culture are saturated with fantasy.   

• In the movies we sit in a dark room with strangers and watch other people pretend to be someone they are not or do things that are physically impossible.  
• With the TV we do the same in the comfort of our homes.  
• In books we read fiction stories someone has made up about people, places and things that do not really exist. 
•  In video games we become heroes or villains with super powers and unlimited opportunities to fail until we succeed.  
• No politician does what they say they will when they run for office and we still vote for them anyway.  
• In sporting activities we pay an absurd amount for a ticket to watch grown men, who are paid an obscene amount, and all they do is play children's games. 
• In business we play monopoly and curse the government for interfering.  We chase pieces of paper called "stock certificates" that are valuable only because someone is willing to pay us more imaginary money that we paid for the certificates originally. When they won't pay more our net worth goes down and we suffer anxiety and depression.
• In fashion and entertainment we make believe everyone can look like the super models or the movie stars when in truth is only a small percent of the population even have a chance to be like them.

   Money is used to measure success.  I believe it was Billy Joel who said, "All you need is looks and a whole lot of money." How to increase your net worth becomes the goal in life and it is all make believe.

   Whoa, wait a minute.  Besides being a bit cynical did I just say money is a fantasy.  Well, after all it is only paper and ink, shiny metal disks or numbers moved from one pile to another by writing checks or swiping a plastic card through a reader and signing our name to a piece of paper or electronic pad.   

   Money is valuable only because we all agree that it is and will exchange goods and services for it. Much easier to store work in paper, metal or binary code than paint the farmer's fence or shovel out the barn each time we need eggs and milk.   
   While money makes things convenient for us, and we need it to provide food, clothing and shelter we should not indulge in the fantasy that possession of wealth is the sole goal of existence.  There are many other worthwhile endeavors that bring about the true ultimate goal of life--self fulfilled happiness that does not come at the expense of the welfare of someone else.
   Fantasy can be fun but in the end the core values of: Faith, Charity, Agency, Work, Perseverance, and Family rise to the top of any list of what makes for a happy existence.

 

CELL PHONES--Thank You Dick Tracy and James T. Kirk

   Two way wrist radios and, "Kirk to Enterprise" have become a reality. Cell phones. I haven’t been a fan of them since I almost ran a pedestrian down who walked out into the middle of the street without paying attention to anything except the conversation he was having with someone on his cell phone.  I was coming through a busy intersection with cars behind me and couldn’t stop without causing an accident.  When I honked at the person they stopped and gave me a dirty look like it was my fault that he was oblivious to what was going on around him.  

   Just the other day I sat in the new X-Men movie next to a young man who took out his cell phone and played games and texted during the movie.  I was driving home from that same movie and my son, who went to the movie in his own car, pulled up alongside of the car I was riding in and when I looked over at him he was using his cell phone while he was driving.

   I don’t know how many times I have sat near a person who for some odd reason believes I should be a party to his or her conversation on their cell.  They talk as though greater volume is a superior communication technique and the person on the other end will be able to hear better if they raise their voice to an unpleasant level.  It is almost like they are shouting to everyone, "I have a cell phone! Listen to me! What I have to say is much more important that what is going on in your lives!"

   I have become worried that in the future all babies born will automatically have a blue-tooth device surgically implanted in their ear, or attached to their wrist, or engraved on the palms of their hands.  We may even evolve until cell phones become part of our DNA and all we will have to do is press our noise or pull on an ear lobe to activate our inbred communication device.

  One ringy dingy ringtone.  Two ringy dingy ringtones.  “Hello.  Is this the party to whom I am speaking?”

ROSS' RULES FOR RETIREMENT

1.    Live long enough to retire.  If you don’t plan to do this, ignore the rest of these suggestions.

2.    Create a budget and follow it.

3.    Spend no more than 99 cents of every dollar you make.  If you spend 101 cents you will eventually go bankrupt.

4.    Stay out of debt—Just for a car and a house, use credit cards only when necessary, and don’t charge more than you can pay off in any given month.  “But dude, what about the latest electronic gadget and the new car I just gotta have?”  Exactly!

5.    Create a multi-legged stool on which to rest your weary bones.

A.  Participate in a 401K or IRA—Don’t touch it until you retire.

B.    Save for an emergency—This may require sacrifice of immediate desires but when the crisis arrives the stress of where the funds will come from can be lessened.

C.   Plan on some Social Security but don’t think it will be the bulk of your retirement income.

D.  Invest wisely in places where the principle is safe.

E.   Hope for a hefty inheritance but don’t bet on it.  My will is going to read:  Being of sound mind, I spent it all.

Simple rules to follow.  I've accomplished number one .  You may also but I’m sure you will ignore the rest as I and my children have done.

CHOICES

   About six months ago when I decided to exit the employment race I found myself with a shopping list in my pocket, access to my wife for clarification via cell phone and on my way to the grocery store.  I felt perfectly confident I could manage the assigned task with little trouble. Heading west on 3500 South in West Valley City, Utah I pulled up to the stoplight at the intersection with Bangerter Highway (Named after the Governor who was in office at the time the monstrosity was created). Bangerter is a road that should have been a freeway instead of a six lane highway with cross streets and stoplights forcing traffic to halt every few minutes both on Bangerter and on the cross streets. 

   As I sat at the intersection and waited, grundles (more that oodles less than tons) of cars flowed through the intersection going north and south on Bangerter.  It's a long light and the more I waited the more I thought, Should I be headed north or south not west?  Everyone else seems to be going in that direction.  I could follow the crowd.  What do they know about north and south that I don’t?  Didn’t Horace Greeley say, “Go west?” I don’t think he said anything about north and south.  I then thought, Wait a minute, if I head north and follow the crowd I could end up somewhere in Idaho or worse, lost in the frozen Canadian wilderness.  And, if I did the same going south, I could find myself in Las Vegas, or Guatemala, or Tierra del Fuego. 

   Luckily the light changed interrupting my dangerous stream of consciousness and I was able to proceed the block and a half to the store without taking any unforeseen side trips. Which only proves, if you have a destination in mind (retirement) and focus your energies to get there, you have a greater chance of arriving where you were intending to go. 

Robert Frost said it this way:

                   Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

                   I took the one less traveled by,                        

                   And that has made all the difference.  

AN EMPLOYMENT CAROL

   This is an absolutely true story: I came home one night after talking to my site manager about the possibility of retiring from my part-time job this year. As I approached my front door the knocker eerily became her face. This was very scary because I don’t have a door knocker. I glanced down at the doorbell and there was a Post-it note saying,

“OUT OF ORDER--SEE ABOVE.”

   Before I could open the door and get inside, the face on the door groaned and said, “You will be visited by three spirits tonight.”

   “I don’t drink,” I replied and went inside.

  As I brushed my teeth before bed, my reflection in the mirror blurred and I saw a monster reflected in its depths. The ghoul had the head of J.C. Penney; the arms of Clarke’s Cafeterias with soapy dishwater dripping from its hands; and the chest of the university library building stacks full of dusty books. The hips looked like Petty Ford’s parts department complete with head and tail lights; the legs were Upholstery Supply Inc. delivery train tracks with little box cars full of sisal and foam; and the feet of clay I recognized as the local school district with fifteen toes on each foot (one for each year of my servitude).

   J.C. Penney opened his mouth and said, “We are the ghost of employment past. We have come to convince you that retirement is not a good idea. ”

   I laughed and turned out the light.

As I lay down in bed looking at the television, it came on without my touching the power button. A burly stagecoach driver urged his team of six horses onward. He looked straight at me and said, “Hee, Haw! I'm the ghost of present employment. It's my job to convince you to keep on workin’.”

   I got up, pulled the plug on the TV set, and turned the screen around to face the wall.

   In the middle of the night, I awoke from a dream. In the dream I had been traveling and vacationing whenever I wanted to, puttering around the house and attending the theater whenever my wife forced me to, going to sporting events and visiting my grandchildren whenever I needed to, volunteering for community service, reading good books, painting landscapes, doing family history research, taking self-improvement and university classes and writing the Great American novel and a classic children's picture book. That vision must have come from the ghost of future unemployment.

   I hurriedly got up and phoned Tiny Tim my investment counselor to check my three-legged retirement stool and see if I had everything in place. “Do I have a pension?” I asked.

   “Yup,” he replied.

   “Do my wife and I have Social Security?”

   “Yeah,” he said.

   “Do we have savings and investments?”

   “Yes,” he acknowledged.

   I went back to work knowing that if my site manager asked me if I was really ready to retire. I would be able to answer, “I believe in the ghost of future unemployment.”